Archive for Mood Management
Do You Experience Emotional Take Outs?
Posted by: | CommentsIt happens to all of us – often times very subtly and without notice. You wake up in a good mood and you’re moving
through your day and all of a sudden it is as if a dark cloud comes over your mind and you realize you’re in a funk. As you reflect on what happened from going from happy to a more negative mood – you notice that you have fear and doubt swimming around. Welcome to the nasty “take-outs.” A take out is when negative internal self-talk creates a limiting belief that often times is corded to heavy emotions of fear, doubt, anxiety or feeling scared.
And – as subtle as clouds moving in to cover the sun, so do limiting beliefs darken our mood and move us to pessimistic thinking. Obviously, for most leaders and contributors, it does not offer our best work when we have been taken out.
In the 15 years I’ve been working with top performers around the world, I have noticed that if we can proactively manage and take responsibility for “mood management” – we are better able to be in our optimal operating state and enjoy life more and have better relationships with others.
Seven Steps to Mood Management and Minimizing the Impact of a Take Out:
1. Schedule regular mood checks throughout the day where you pause and ask yourself “how’s my mood?” (some clients set an alarm!)
2. If you notice you are in a funk and your mood has shifted from your more optimistic and happy self, ask, “what am I am feeling right now?”
3. Normally, feelings of fear, doubt, anxiousness, or sadness come in when we are in a funk and feeling down. Ask yourself, what limiting belief has been created in my mind that is corded to the negative emotions (i.e., I will fail at the presentation I am to deliver next week and I am flooded with fear and doubt.)
4. Ask yourself, “Is there any physical truth to justify the liming belief that has caused the take-out? Most likely, there is absolutely NO physical evidence to the belief that was created – thus the belief is made-up.
5. Reverse the limiting belief by creating a Powerful Assumption (a positive belief that is corded to positive feelings when you think about it). For example, if the limiting belief is “I’m afraid to take my entitled vacation for fear of losing my job” – a Powerful Assumption may read “With my talents, drive and achievements I have made at my work, I can enthusiastically take the vacation knowing I am a valuable and highly regarded team player.”
6. Notice if your body has a funny reaction (in a good way) to the Powerful Assumption (i.e., if the Powerful Assumption feels a little over the top – you have created a great powerful assumption – if it falls a bit flat when you read it – you have most likely created a “positive” assumption and it is recommend you fuel the assumption to make it more powerful.
7. Yes, the Powerful Assumption is also made up – but, imagine when you get into funk or you are starting your day by reading a list of Powerful Assumptions that have replaced limiting beliefs the impact it would have on your mood. It is a guaranteed mood changer that will allow you to get back on to your optimal operating state.
Groove It!
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For the past twenty five years, I’ve been working with a mind management process that has literally saved my life more than once by shifting immobilizing fear into possibility thinking.
In one instance, I was forty feet underwater in the middle of the Pacific Ocean lobster hunting––which, of course, can only happen at night. Yes, I had a diving buddy, but there were two unfortunate things about that: 1. he had the only real underwater light (mine was a water-proof flashlight with a beam of about 3 feet) and 2. he was far more intent on chasing a lobster illuminated bright red on the white ocean floor–– than on paying attention to what was happening for me.
It was a rush at first, swimming after him in full pursuit, but coming through an undersea forest I was suddenly stopped short when tough, rubbery kelp grabbed my tanks. My buddy’s light faded into the distant water and I was left immobilized and alone in the pitch black sea.
At times like this your Inner Critters really take you out and mine were screaming at me, panic Shayla panic! And I did for a few seconds, but almost immediately, the mind management tool I had practiced many times in less dire circumstances came to me and I said to myself, Critter Reality says I’m going to die right here on the bottom of the ocean. My Whisperer Vision is I am calm and absolutely safe.
Immediately, I remembered to breath and with my first breath, came the confidence to start ripping that gnarly kelp off the tanks by reaching blindly over my shoulder with great force. In just seconds, I could feel it give up its hold on me. Then, perfectly free once more, I swam as fast as I could toward the hazy pin prick of brightness in the distance that was the fading vestige of my buddy’s dive light. It wasn’t until we bagged the lobster and returned to the boat that he even knew I had been gone.
In BoldMoves Country, we call the mind management process I used The GrooveTool because we have learned in recent years that it actually helps to fill in unwanted grooves of fear and doubt in the brain and create new grooves of possibility thinking. It is an amazing creating tool that can be used not only in dire moments of panic, but in everyday life when you feel just a bit off and you want to regain your center.
If we can agree that we create what we give attention to, then we can see how powerful it is to have a tool for shifting our attention immediately from fear and doubt to possibility thinking.
Learn more about The GrooveTool here.
Learn more about BoldMoves Country here.
Learn more about Inner Critters here.
How Well Are You Dancing in the Chaos at Work?
Posted by: | CommentsAs you are well aware of – we are working in unprecedented times. For the majority of leaders in the United States today, we are being asked to do more with less resources. Many of us are
operating with still moist blueprints to move us forward towards our business goals that have been redefined with Kinsu knives to adjust to the current economy.
Many of my top performing clients are having fresh fantasies hoping that this ever-escalating churn rate will slow down – hungry for moving through the day at a more relaxed pace; wanting a guarantee that the defined project will stay the course and be allowed to finish without noisy interruption and even the fantasy of securing a parental pat on the back with a voice of authority that their job is secure.
So how confident are you with the moves of your work today? How well do you dance in the chaos of uncertainty that so many of us are facing today? How change hardy are you in this current landscape of work? Simply put – how well do you dance in chaos?
While there are many external forces coming at us much like a fire hose turned full on, many of my clients sometimes believe that there are few things that we can control in this current landscape. And, from an external perspective that may be true. But you can control your thoughts, mood and actions. Top performers who are surviving and thriving in this current terrain are doing three things consistently:
- Build in “time outs” (taking breaks for themselves) a couple of times during the day to unplug and reflect
- Know when to slow down and access their intuition verses moving through the day as a reactionary (brash) move maker and,
- Manage and pay attention to their moods much like a master gardener tends to an awarding wining rose garden.
Some personality types are well wired to be able to dance in the current tornado-like conditions of work dealing in high interrupt, high stress environments. Others, who appreciate structure and control are being challenged with all of the uncertainty that is present.
How well are you managing your own mood day-to-day? How well are you managing your energy, emotions and mind daily? How often are you pushing the “pause” button to calibrate your mood, thoughts and energy before walking into the meeting?
There are many leaders right now being challenged to become more competent to dance in the chaos. As the leader of your career, what can you do internally to ensure you navigate successfully during these tumultuous times? Consider crafting a daily practice allowing you to reflect before you go to work on the most important two or three goals for the day, set an intention for how you want to move throughout the day and remember to take mood management breaks throughout the day allowing you to be in better precision toward your defined daily goals with energy left over for your life at the end of the day. Hold the perspective that dancing in the chaos is different but not necessarily difficult.
Those who take proactive care internally will be making bold moves externally allowing for a more graceful dance in the chaos of their careers.
Golf Ball Greed
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Early yesterday morning, my husband and I watched as about twenty golf carts passed our place for the start of a tournament. This made me grin with delight at the many golf balls there would be on my walk today. Truth is, I couldn’t wait for morning, so I went for a short stroll last evening and I found seven golf balls within ten yards of our doorstep which is in the slice zone. But, oh, I thought, how fun it will be in the morning when I hit the gully in the fifteenth fairway!
As it happened a nagging back ache won out at 6:00 am and I decided to roll over once more before rising, knowing full well that I would miss my chance at the plentiful treasure awaiting me on the links. Still, I am committed to following the truth of my own personal flow and sleeping in felt like a rare and welcomed treat.
When I hit the trail at 7:30, the serious golf ball hunters were out in numbers poking their long poles into difficult crevasses. There’s one couple I especially appreciate because along with balls, they pick up trash, as I do. There they were, searching the area I had cleaned out last evening and obviously finding a few balls I had missed. Seeing them awoke an Inner Critter in my mind. They’re going to get all of the balls, it greedily chided. You slept too late and you’re going to lose out.
I’ve practiced noticing when my Inner Critters take the microphone in my head, because the behaviors and attitudes they foster are never helpful. So I turned my attention to my Whisperer voice, my intuitive voice of possibility. It said, It doesn’t matter. Just enjoy your walk. You made a powerful choice to honor your health today. Immediately, I felt my usual sense of morning delight return and a wave of generosity washed over me. It will be such fun for them finding all those balls, I thought as I saw the couple head down the fairway that I would normally have passed an hour earlier.
I was rewarded almost instantly for taking charge of my self-talk. As I crossed the road to reach the desert preserve that starts my every day, there, by the curb right on my exact path, lay a lovely new Callaway. It was a most fortunate sign, my one-for-sure find of the day. Later, as I meandered off the trail a bit I found a Maxfli and a Top-Flite gleaming on the barren desert floor. And then, joy of joys, as I came back to the sixteenth tee where my desert trail meets the cart path, I had to step aside as not one but two sets of about fifteen carts filled with eager golfers whizzed by. You see, said my Whisperer, you’ll have another chance tomorrow. No question, this was a direct reward for having silenced those greedy Inner Critters and tuned in to my Whisperer who always puts me back in the flow of possibility thinking.
If you’re concerned about how much play your Inner Critters are getting in your thought patterns, there are two potent things you can do. First, stop feeding them the fear and doubt that come with mass media by turning it off. Second, check out the free BoldMoves Readiness coaching calls that Allan and I offer each Tuesday afternoon. Click here for more information.
