We have seen the language for a couple of decades – suggesting we live life from a “being” state verses a “doing” state. Self-help gurus have challenged us to look at the quality of our lives not from the quantity of activity, the smile for being recognized for long hours at the job, or a work ethic that prohibits taking time for a vacation. Rather, the goal is to embrace living through the lens of adapting more presence in one’s day-to-day life. And, the question is – as we approach the tenth year of a new century – “how are we doing” or better yet “how are we ‘being’.”
We know that on an average day in the United States, adults are bombarded with thousands of external messages telling us what we should care about, the automobile best to look good in, the clothing to wear or the latest techno-gadget we simply have to have. And from many perspectives, those external marketing engines are winning.
What may come to a surprise to many is that our critter brains actually make us think that by buying the latest cell phone, loading our music on the newest mp3 player, or purchasing the new improved headsets will make us actually feel happier. Unfortunately, the research is proving that kind of thinking dead wrong. In fact, people are more apt to get more depressed (1) with managing all of the new tech toys and service / warranty agreements along with the management of batteries, adaptors, charger, etc.
So how do we enjoy the technologies of today, the warp-speed options that life offers and managing all the external messages coming at us through the fire hoses of marketing machines while improving the quality of our lives – assessing more ‘being’ into our lives?
Working with top performers for over a decade who have struggled with this issue, the following four steps offer a starting place leading to more ease and presence; healthier lives and relationships resulting in enhanced quality of our lives with more “be” and less “do.”
Step One: Adapt a Daily Practice – Start the day with a couple of minutes unplugging from any noise (externally and internally!) before the day gets moving and check in with the quality of your mood. Ask yourself “how do I want to lead this day? What is the one Desired Outcome that would have me energized and satisfied at the end of the day?”
Step Two: Allow for Mood Management Check-Ins during the day. Pause to ask, “How is the quality of my productivity?” Am I operating with a clear head, do I need a break, and am I in optimal state to provide my best work and thinking?
Step Three: Take Body Breaks during the day. – As humans, we were not designed to be operating at the speed many of us live life by. Get out of the office and take a walk, exercise, or find a place where you can unplug for a couple of minutes and re-energize and refocus.
Step Four: Have a plan for the evening set at the beginning of the day. No matter if it is dinner at home with the family, meeting a friend, or going out for dinner – by having a sense of what you are doing at the end of the day – allows you to manage your energy deliberately so that you can show up for the evening event energized and excited verses arriving with your reserve fuel light on red.
Ultimately, it comes down to each of us taking ownership of managing our day – controlling our energy and ensuring our pace for the day is set appropriately so we are engaged, productive and purposeful in all that we are involved in – our relationships, our families, our health, our work and our planet will be better of for it.
(1) – Dr. Martin Seligman, www.AuthenticHappiness.org
for productive work and quality living.
to have a strong work ethic – “work hard, play later,” “head down – plow through,” “get in early – last one out” etc. For many years (in my earlier career), I was recognized for that “work ethic” which resulted in me moving up the corporate ladder. Then came the wake up call and the gifts of realization that there was a different way to “be” at work without the heavy lifting.
In a conversation with a client recently over coffee, I heard – once again – the painful (but door opening) story of realization of a top performer who – by resume – had a charmed career. From college to a swift climb on the American Corporate ladder, to finding love, marriage and creating a family and building towards financial freedom – in many respects, the storyline appeared as a Normal Rockwell painting. Then, stress at work, pressures with the family, and the final knock of the economy removing much of the hard earned assets financially had Tim fall into a deep somber where he began to discover a new truth about his life and world. Simply put, he realized that much of what he created was externally-based from childhood impressions, an unconscious motive to keep up with the Joneses that shaped his early-on decision-making around what he believed to be the right path for success.
Let’s face it, we are all noticing how fast time is flying by – saying to friends, “can you believe half the year has gone by – where did it go?” And, as the months and years fly by, for many, there is a heavy weight like a chain and ball around the ankle reminding many they are not living a purposeful life. Too many people have lost the vibrancy of youth and dreams simply seem out of touch and no longer possible to turn into reality. 
